Top Ten Most Self-Serving Superpowers

Instead of thinking about which powers you’d want to save the world this is a list of the best powers to help yourself.

#10 – Copying oneself

Quite literally self-serving, being able to generate numerous copies of yourself would be very useful. Need to be in four places at once? No problemo. Too tired to go to school/uni/work? Send a copy while you dream the morning away in bed. However you’d have to be careful not to send too many copies out, lest people become suspicious. Also it would be depressing if your copies got to live your life while you just wasted away in bed. It could also lead to an identity crisis.

 Example: Multiple Man

 #9 – Invisibility

Along with x-ray vision this is probably the most wanted power for teenage boys. I think it’d be great, to be able to go wherever you want. You’d never have to queue for anything again. You could scare the hell out of anyone. There’s even a ready-made Queen song for you to use as your personal theme.

After all that time spent being invisible I think it’d be hard to go back to being visible. The only problem with being invisible is that you just become an observer of life rather than a participant.

Example: Invisible Girl

#8 – Shapeshifting

It’d be easy to manipulate and deceive people. You could pretend to be someone else, or make loads of money by filming celebrity sex tapes. Like invisibility it would offer complete freedom but shapeshifting offers the advantage of being able to interact with people. You’d also never need plastic surgery.

Another aspect is that if you had the same type of shapeshifting as Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine then you literally become whichever object you shift into. So you can experience what it’s like to be a rock…okay maybe that’s not the most dynamic example but my point is it would open up a whole new realm of experiences.

Example: Mystique

#7 – Midas Touch

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. You get to turn things into gold. Gold is valuable. Simples.

Example: Bob from Heroes, King Midas

#6 – X-Ray Vision

I think you all know what this would be used for. You bunch of pervs.

Example:  Superman

#5 – Super Speed

I’d actually really like super speed. It’s not the most self-serving power out there but it would be very practical. It’s not like it’ll let you take over the world but for everyday use it’s helpful. No more transport woop!

Example: The Flash, Quicksilver

#4 – Telekinesis

Like super speed it’s practical for everyday use. Technically it’s not the Force but it’d be the closest thing to a Jedi (or Sith) as we can get. It’d be great for causing slapstick mayhem, and I’d love to just knock someone’s hat off and watch them keep picking it up while getting ever more bewildered. Con – could lead to extreme laziness.

Example: Jean Grey

#3 – Probability Manipulation

I’m sure we’ve all fallen foul of Lady Luck at some point. I don’t believe in fate or reason, I think the world is just largely chaotic and random. So having a power that lets you have some element of control over this chaos is very useful. I bet you all know at least one annoying person who’s so lucky in life that they somehow manage to get a good job and a beautiful partner and it just all seems to work out for them and it drives you absolutely crazy (think Frank Grimes regarding Homer Simpson).

You could be that lucky person who just half-asses their way to happiness.

Example: Scarlet Witch

#2 – Master of Time and Space

Oh how I’ve longed to be able to go anywhere anywhen. You could sample different cultures at different times, visit historic meetings, meet famous historical figures. Or just go back to 1955 and play Johnny B. Goode at a high school prom.

Example: Hiro

#1 – Thought Implantation/Mind Control/Telepathy

I grouped the three together because they’re all pretty similar and generally if you have one you have the others.

I just can’t see how this isn’t the best. With telepathy you know exactly what other people are thinking and if you have mind control you can make anyone do anything you want to. With shapeshifting you can manipulate people but it still requires some people skills whereas this just requires you to plant a thought in someone’s head. You can’t be whatever you want to be, but you can make people believe you are whatever you want to be.

Example: Professor X


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